The Balancing Act - Motherhood, Family & Career

Balancing life with work as a mom and being successful in both - is it possible? Attaining the cliched "work-life balance" is a challenge for all of us, especially moms, even during regular times and more so during this pandemic where most of our lives are spent at home. Despite having a supportive partner, I take pride in believing that I am the primary caregiver in my family. This means having to do household chores, remembering and booking appointments for the family, virtual schooling, organizing play or fun for kids, etc., to name a few.

Here are some of my best practices that I try to follow, many of which I learned from my mother, a working mom herself. 

 

1. Give up on working mom's guilt: I have felt guilty about letting down kids, family or colleagues, boss when I prioritize one over the other. Over time, I have realized guilt doesn't do any good; it only brings me down. So never blame yourself for maybe missing that one game or being late for dinner. Instead, plan family time each day or each week to make up for any missed activities. Maybe have 30 minutes daily after dinner when the family discusses their day and what made them happy or sad.

 

2. Divide your time: If we work on the laptop, cook, and have a conversation with kids simultaneously, we are not dividing our time but are splitting our attention and not getting any of these tasks appropriately accomplished. My husband and I try to plan household chores, playtime, office activities around children's school hours and nap times but sway when needed. I recently read a book by Joann S. Lublin, 'Power Moms,' where she speaks about the idea of work-life sway, explaining that you sometimes need to be all-in for your family, and at others, you might have to do the same for your job. Family and work are like two sides of the same page, and sometimes you need to flip back and forth as necessary.

3. Self-care and sleep: Never compromise on self-care and sleep. Waking up early or staying up late after kids' bedtime might seem like the only way to get things done. But this will only make us feel more tired, and if we are tired, we cannot concentrate on what we are doing and will be less productive. My husband and I plan our work so that we each at least get 1 hour of me-time per day to go out or stay alone and do something we like.

 

4. Say 'No': Whether at work or home, learn to say 'No.' Both family and colleagues know we will be there when they need us, but we don't have to say yes to all their whims every time.

 

5. Ask and accept help: If you are like me, you might feel you have to do everything yourself to be successful in each role. But this only leads to exhaustion. So, ask and accept help wherever possible. Communicate with partners, kids, other family members, and divide chores. Encourage kids to do age-appropriate chores independently. Seek help from grandparents or relatives for childcare when possible.

 

Remember, we are all not just a mother, a partner, or a professional. We are each all of these but also much more. Don't strive for perfection and get exhausted. We are all perfect just the way we are in our own unique styles.

Published: Toronto chapter of the Canadian Association of Administrative Professionals Winter 2022 newsletter, 'The Connection'